When negotiating a romantic relationship, we may unknowingly engage in strange behaviors such as reminding our partner of work, managing their finances, or being overly cautious about their feelings. You may end up taking it. Recognizing these signs is important to understanding the impact on your relationship. Identifying whether we are unintentionally taking on a parenting role in a relationship is the first step to fostering a healthier relationship.
“If you've ever had constant doubts, struggled to enjoy time with your partner, and wondered why you stay in a relationship when you don't feel truly wanted and loved, It's time to find out why. Because once you know why you stay, you can start taking steps to free yourself. Until then, everything is too intangible to improve the situation. “You can't take effective action to improve your relationship,” writes relationship coach Malena Tilhon.
How can we identify the signs that our role in the relationship is shifting to parenting our partner?
- regular reminders
Do you find yourself constantly reminding your partner about your to-do list? If you're always playing the role of taskmaster, it could be a sign of unintentional parenting. By doing this, we unknowingly foster dependence, making people dependent on us for even the smallest of tasks. - Excessive involvement in finance
Managing your partner's finances may seem like a considerate act, but it can be parenting. If you consistently pay your bills and manage your money, it may suggest that you believe they are financially incapable. Support is good, but total control can stunt growth. - lack of accountability
Are you always covering for your partner's mistakes or neglecting to hold them accountable? When we take on both our responsibilities and theirs, parenting tendencies can surface. It's important to let them learn from their actions rather than shielding them from consequences. - walk on eggshells
If you're sneaking around to avoid offending your partner, you may be taking on the role of parent. Constantly controlling your emotions to maintain peace can create unhealthy dynamics. Both partners should feel free to express their opinions without fear of offending the other person. - suppress emotions
Are you hesitant to share your needs and feelings because you think it might overwhelm your partner? This reluctance can be a sign of your parents' disciplinary behavior. It comes from the idea that expressing personal feelings may be burdensome. Healthy relationships are fostered through open communication. Don't be afraid to share your thoughts and feelings.
Breaking out of these patterns requires self-awareness and communication. Relationship coach Malena Tyrion emphasizes the importance of understanding why we stay in these situations. Recognizing these signs is the first step to building a healthier, more balanced relationship.
Creating space for mutual growth and understanding can bring about positive changes in your relationship. Remember that a relationship needs to be a partnership where individuals contribute and grow together.
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First published: February 4, 2024, 07:53 IST
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