10 years ago, I was pregnant with my first child. Instagram is still in its early stages. Most people didn't have accounts, but the few who did did post photos of their dinner plates with blurry, sepia-toned filters. Parenting accounts did not exist at all. I have done little to prepare for the birth of my baby other than reading one of her books someone gave me and building a registry based on a book one of my colleague's girlfriends told me to buy. did not.
Was I not ready for something? yes. Interestingly, yes.
Two years later, I had another child and became a little more aware of my limitations. That baby also had some additional challenges that my first baby didn't have. I turned to the Internet, which at the time was seeing the rise of parenting websites and blogs. I've found these to be very helpful when I need information about a specific issue I'm having. I was able to search for exactly what my problem was and was usually able to find some advice.
Fast forward to 2019. I was pregnant with my girlfriend's third and final baby just as parenting accounts started appearing. Primarily on her Instagram, these accounts are organized around topics such as eating, sleep, health, and discipline. How amazing! I thought. I'm following them all! Since it had been several years since my last birth, I thoroughly learned all the new advice, tips, tricks, and tools available to parents. I learned a huge amount of information very quickly and often thought to myself, “I wish I had known this when I had my first baby!”
With a wealth of information at your fingertips, you're better prepared than ever. right?
That's difficult to answer.There was certainly a lot of information, but in hindsight I can say that it was Too many. I was overwhelmed with information. A “gentle reminder” in the form of an aesthetically pleasing Instagram post, but it turns out it's not so gentle in reality.
A quick scroll through my homepage reveals this:
Post 1: Babies need 4 naps a day and 12 hours of night sleep.
Post 2: Here's what the different types of crying look like.
Post 3: 5 reasons why tummy time is helpful for your baby
Post 4: Wait It's so long Introducing the bottle.
Post 5: Ignore timeouts and time in.
Post 6: A toddler's plate needs four things:
Any good advice? of course. Real advice? yes. Did you need all that in one scroll of the homepage?
Having so much information presented to me at such a fast pace was overwhelming and anxiety-provoking. I wanted to be a good mother. I felt like I needed all the information to make the best choice, but honestly, it paralyzed my judgment and made me wonder if I was doing something wrong. There was constant anxiety. I would have failed if I hadn't perfected every aspect of parenting as the “experts” told me.
That led me to another discovery.
As the years have passed and I've continued to follow these parenting accounts, I've noticed a few trends. First of all, they're all selling something. There are also sales on courses and brands. I've been in these fields for a long time and have seen some of the advice change based on affiliate deals. Interesting, right?
Second, we don't know if all of these accounts have the expertise they claim. There are some very good services out there that offer advice from qualified professionals. However, we also found a number of popular accounts that appeared to be run by mothers who were passionate about a topic and were good at graphic design. They don't actually have degrees or work in the field. While there is value in moms sharing information with other moms, I personally prefer to get information from experts who have been immersed in their field for a long time.
Now that my kids are older and I don't need much of the advice for babies and toddlers that most parenting accounts focus on, I can take a moment to reflect on the value these accounts have added to my life. . My conclusion: I learned a lot, but I wish I had only looked for the information I needed. If I could go back, I would unfollow all of those accounts. Some contain information that may be helpful if you are struggling with a specific issue. It's nice to know they're there when you need them. These explanations may be too much, especially for people who are prone to feeling even a little anxious in the early postpartum period. Also, some of the advice may be inappropriate. The internet is a wild place.
Here in the South, we say, “If it ain't broke, don't fix it.” I find this especially useful when it comes to online parenting advice. There's no need to change what's working for you just because an Instagram post says there's a better way. The internet has given us a wonderful opportunity to expand our circle of mothers, but it can also be overwhelming when that circle gets too big.
