Authoritarian parenting: its effects, causes, and symptoms

Thomas was a young child who began his life curious and in awe of everything new, from his surroundings to discovering himself. He is a unique self with likes, dislikes, emotions and above all his own.

Unfortunately, it seems his parents, whether fully aware or not, were doing everything they could to challenge, if not crush his spirit. . They did little to support his emotional and cognitive health. They set rules and structures with seemingly little regard for his thoughts and feelings. Teaching him how to feel, think, and act did little to foster the joy of his creative energy, including his openness to questions and experimentation.

They couldn't be fully present with him in a way that made him feel truly heard. They weren't there to respond in a way that encouraged his introspection and brainstorming, which is essential to problem-solving. As such, little direction was provided for modeling critical thinking.

Due to a variety of factors, including their own emotional difficulties, financial stress, relationship conflicts, and parenting methods, they were unable to provide the parenting essential for healthy emotional and cognitive development. They were great parents at providing food, clothing, and shelter, but that doesn't fully compensate for their lack of emotional presence. As a result, Thomas experienced great psychological distress, including feelings of isolation from others and himself.

Unfortunately, many of us are raised with this parenting style, an authoritarian approach to parenting. This was first described by Diana Baumrind in the 1960s, who also identified her authoritative and permissive parenting style. Moreover, the neglected style was confirmed in his 80s (Maccoby and Martin, 1983).

In contrast to authoritarian styles, authoritative parenting aims to provide a balance between structure and independence. Although there may be strict standards for a child's behavior, it is accompanied by caring interactions that are emotionally supportive and foster healthy bonds and trust. Such parents allow their children to make mistakes without judgment and are not pushy. This is considered the most beneficial parenting style as it encourages growth.

Parents who practice a permissive parenting style simply let their children do what they want, without providing any structure. They often act like peers and friends towards children.

A neglectful parenting style reflects parents who are minimally responsive to their children's needs and demand little from their children. They are often indifferent, dismissive, or completely ignored.

Consequences of authoritarian parenting

Comparing the four parenting styles, permissive parenting and neglectful parenting both result in high levels of aggression in children. However, authoritarian parenting shows the highest correlation with child aggression (Muhammad, Rathi, Baroi, et. al. 2022). Furthermore, when such parents engage in derisive parenting, that is, acts of condescension and belittling, adolescents are more likely to exhibit adolescent dysregulated anger, which contributes to increased bullying and victimization. (Dickson, Laursen, Valdes, et al., 2019).

When comparing authoritarian and nonauthoritarian parenting, children of parents with more evidence of negative demands may have lower emotional intelligence (Rekha, 2020). A lack of emotional intelligence tends to make children more impulsive, angry, and aggressive.

Authoritarian parenting has been found to be highly correlated with delinquent behavior in youth (Amran, M. and Basri, N., 2020). Authoritarian parenting prioritizes a high degree of control to get children to listen. This can lead to children having conflicts, poor communication skills, and less trust. A study of 1,320 adults found that an authoritarian parenting style was associated with worse later mental health, including symptomatic problems, risks to self and others, functioning, and mental health. (Uji, Sakamoto, Adachi et al., 2014).

Authoritarian parenting is also associated with symptoms of depression (King, Vidourek, & Merianos, 2016). As I have observed over the years as a clinician, angry tendencies often serve as a distraction from such depression.

A meta-study of 51 studies from eight countries found that children of authoritarian parents were more verbally and physically aggressive than children of authoritarian parents (Sunita, Sing , Sihag, 2022). Furthermore, their behavior was associated with low emotionality and high control. Additionally, children's aggression, anxiety, depression, and problem behavior were all correlated with higher levels of parental control.

Contributions to authoritarian parenting

Numerous studies have been conducted over the years to identify the factors associated with authoritarian parenting and how these factors affect children.

attribution of hostility

Parents who report that their approach is authoritarian are more likely to attribute hostile intentions to their children, feel more negative emotions, and engage in harsher parenting practices, such as yelling and hitting. (Crouch, Irwin, Milner, et al., 2017). Furthermore, higher punishment in early childhood associated with trait anger appears to have a significantly higher impact on parenting than authoritarianism in orientation (Milburn, Niwa & Patterson, 2013).

Difficulty controlling emotions

Authoritarian parenting is also associated with parents who have difficulty regulating their emotions. A study of 218 mother-adolescent dyads found a strong association between maternal emotion dysregulation, authoritarian parenting style, and adolescent emotion dysregulation. (Shaw and Starr, 2019). This association was stronger when family stress levels were higher.

externalization

A meta-analysis of 17 articles found that authoritarian parenting style was most closely associated with externalizing problems (Ruiz-Hernandez, Moral-Zafra, Llor-Esteban, et al., 2019). This makes sense because the children of such parents routinely react to external forces and rarely experience themselves as having free agency.

socio-economic level

A recent study found that economically disadvantaged parents are more likely to adopt harsh and authoritarian parenting strategies than advantaged parents (Schneider and Fontaine, 2022).

have authoritarian parents

One study found that children of authoritarian parents were more likely to practice authoritarian parenting (Valentino, Nuttall, Comas, et al., 2012). Additionally, another study found that children who endured such parenting were more likely to become involved in child abuse.

not very favorable

They seem to disagree less with authoritarian parents (Huver, Otten, De Vries et al., 2010). As a result, they tend to be less empathetic and more hostile, and more likely to have conflicts with others, including children.

what it means

Parents with authoritarian parenting need to know that they can practice more authoritative parenting. Fortunately for Thomas, his parents realized how their authoritative parenting style was affecting him. By following these guidelines, my children were able to gradually accept a more authoritative parenting style.

1. Increase your awareness of authoritative parenting and how it can affect children emotionally and cognitively. Be aware of the challenges you may face when in authority (i.e., lack of familiarity, triggering childhood problems, fear of losing control, etc.).
2. Learn skills to facilitate being with children: listening skills, empathy, validating emotions, and helping children recognize their emotions. (This can be difficult if you haven't taken the time to listen, empathize, and validate your feelings.)
3. Clarify household rules. These should be stated clearly and discussed with children so they can understand. Posting them serves as a visual reminder for everyone.
4. Practice using logical consequences consistent with authoritative parenting. This requires identifying clearly defined, reasonable, and consistent outcomes. Remember that corporal punishment may be an impulsive response method, but it ultimately undermines the child's trust and experienced connections.
5. Please work on educating your parents. You can choose to learn about authoritative parenting through books, online information, or by attending a class. Speaking with a family therapist can also provide great feedback on strategies and skills for more constructive interactions within your family.

As with learning any new behavior, this takes time, practice, and patience. But accepting these guidelines will help ensure your child grows up rather than experiencing the pain that Thomas endured.

References