Dear Amy: My husband and I have temporary custody of our 10-year-old granddaughter, “Sophie.” Because her mother (our daughter) is currently in a court-ordered rehab facility due to her long-term drug addiction. Our granddaughter's father is not in the photo.
While we believe our daughter is making a serious effort to recover from her addiction, we have been to this particular party several times and we may end up raising our granddaughter more or less permanently. Be realistic about the fact that you can't.
Sophie is an amazing girl! We're pretty young, healthy, and honestly adjusting and enjoying the experience of “parenting all over again.”
Her aunt gave Sophie her first Harry Potter book for Christmas. Sophie is having a lot of fun. She was glued to her book after school, and she gave us the synopsis during dinner.
During a phone call with her mother, Sophie expressed her excitement about the book.
Her mother contacted us and had many objections to her reading this book. Her points were all over the place, but she acted like she was offended and asked us to take away the book and choose “more appropriate” material for her daughter to read. I did.
We want to respect her interest in this and want to keep communication open. So I don't know how to respond. Should I give up?
– Worried muggles
Dear Muggles: Your daughter is trying to control you. This may indicate that her recovery has stalled and she is becoming irritable and anxious. This problem could be a stand-in for her grief over losing direct contact with her child.
I think you should respond calmly and honestly. Don't make this a “thing”.
You read the book with her concerns in mind, and be mindful of her mother's concerns while “Sophie” is with you, but since she lives with you, these things Assure her that you are the main people doing this. type of decision.
Encourage her to continue with her program. Being in recovery is the best parenting choice she can make.
You can email Amy Dickinson. [email protected] Or write to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.
