Anyone who has ever raised an energetic “Three Nager” knows how difficult it can be to deal with toddler tantrums. Parents often joke about their young child throwing up. Because laughter is the only way to cope. But in reality, when one family member feels or actually continues to be out of control, it can be very disturbing and distressing for the whole family.
Big tantrums can be especially difficult for parents who haven't had good parenting examples themselves. It takes superhuman patience to be the parent you want to be, and no one can do it perfectly all the time. When a child is irrationally screaming, crying, and can't seem to stop, exhausted parents can lose their cool and react in ways they normally wouldn't.
That's one reason why a father-son TikTok video shot in the aftermath of an epic toddler tantrum caught everyone's attention. Many of us have been in the shoes of a father before, exhausted and upset by the relentless intensity and intensity of our three-year-old. And many of us have been in a son's shoes, witnessing his brother's insanity and his parents' struggle to make do with the situation.
But the way this father and son support each other is a beautiful example of emotional control, empathy, and connection that moves people to tears.
TikTok user @mollymikos shared a video explaining that her 3-year-old son had a tantrum that lasted two and a half hours (she clarified that there were actually two tantrums, with a 10-minute break in between). did). “We didn't have unicorn chopsticks, so we didn't go to stores (that don't sell unicorn chopsticks),” she explained when someone asked when the fit was finished. Seems about right. The domineering three is no joke.
There's a lot to love in this video. First, her 6-year-old, who Mikos describes as an “empathetic” and “deeply emotional child,” showed great self-regulation skills. It was touching to see his son begin to take deep breaths and suggest that he and his dad take deep breaths together. Second, his father apologized for losing it and explained that he was trying to set a better example as a parent for him, but many parents are too proud for that. Finally, the child showed deep understanding and compassion. It was clear that the parents had worked hard to build healthy emotional connections and open communication within the family.
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Mikos told Upworthy that she and her husband have worked hard to break the cycle of stress that is passed down from generation to generation.
“I didn't realize how much having a child would provide for me,” she says. “We are working to repair and change the way we interact with children so they feel supported rather than shamed.”
Mikos says that thanks to social media, this generation of parents now has access to experts, research and revelations that can help them raise their children based on gentle parenting principles. She personally draws inspiration from Dr. Becky Kennedy, Janet Lansbury, Conscious Mommy, and Eli Harwood on Instagram. “They changed my life,” she says.
People love Mikos and her husband for the example they set for and for their children.
“This shows what a great job you are doing!!!” one commenter wrote. “Toddlers can be difficult, but the fact that your 6-year-old was able to empathize and communicate shows that.”
“This is why you're a good parent,” another shared. “Older children have more control over their emotions and are more empathetic. That's great at any age. And you did it.”
“I'm not the one crying at 2am BC, this is the healthiest parent-child relationship ever,” another wrote. “Good luck 😭😭💕 Everyone is doing great things.”
Mikos was encouraged by all the comments on her video. The fact that her husband apologized to her son for losing her patience was especially touching to many commenters, especially those with parents who never did such things. “A lot of people have said that she didn't know that parents could apologize to their children,” she says. “Yes, please apologize. They need to know that we make mistakes and that we still love them and are always trying to improve.”
Apologizing to our children when we're wrong or do something we're not proud of shows respect, sets an example, and teaches responsibility. The fact that this father has no problem apologizing may be a big reason why his son has such emotional tools.
Kind and considerate parenting may not end tantrums right away, but it can lead to big emotional and relationship wins in the long run.
This article was originally published on 11.12.22
