Should parents criticize other parents for raising their kids differently? After all, every parent has a different situation and environment and they tend to adopt different parenting styles as per their own comfort and convenience. We spoke to child psychologists and parent coaches to understand why criticizing other parents is a big no-no.
Samantha (33), a mother of a five-year-old, is having a conversation with Raveena (38), also a mother. Both their children are in the same class and go to the same school. The two bond over various things, like what lunch they will give their children at tiffin and how they will help them with their homework. Raveena, a working professional, casually mentions that she has been unable to keep a cool head with her children lately due to work stress and being busy around them. “Sometimes when my child troubles me, I hit them hard and later regret it,” she candidly tells Samantha.
It's common parents Parents talk to each other and share their struggles. Parents are not perfect and cannot do everything well all the time. While Raveena confides in Samantha and unburdens her, Samantha talks to other parents about them being irresponsible for not giving time to her. child Instead, keep working.
“Ravina shouldn't have had a child so late”, “Ravina should quit her job to be with her child”, “How can she lose her cool with her own child? What kind of mother is that?” These are just some of the comments Samantha has made criticising the behaviour of other parents. Parenting StyleThe question that arises is, how fair is it to judge a parent for their shortcomings? How does it affect a child who hears constant criticism of another parent's parenting style?
To make sense of all this, we spoke to Payal Narang, a child psychologist and parent coach. “What parents need to understand is that The kids “Children look at their parents as role models. When they see one parent criticising the other, it simply shows intolerance,” Payal says.
Parents need to empathize with other parents and always respect and understand different parenting styles. “Another thing we all need to be aware of is that we don't fully know another person's story, situation, and environment, so their reasons for choosing a particular parenting style may be different from yours. After all, what works for one family may not work for another,” explains Payal.
Parenting can be exhausting at times. There are good days and bad days. That's why Payal shares the adage, “It takes a village to raise a child.” “Instead of criticizing or judging other parents, let's focus on supporting each other and building our own village,” Payal advises.
Payal also says that when parents criticise other parents, it can have a negative impact on children. Children may get confused and form the opinion that their peer parents are not good parents. The question arises, would any parent want to think that their peer parents are not good? We all know that irrespective of their parenting style or parenting methods, all parents want what is best for their children. That's why you should never criticise peer parents, especially in front of your children, concludes Payal.
