Under the name of love, the couple arranges all kinds. On the side of the bed, you sleep on who is shopping and washing each partner. But according to the author, Ramit Setti, Money for couplesCouples talk much more often about their finances. “Most couples tell us that they don't have a substantial conversation on money,” says Setti. And when they do so, they usually have something wrong, as if the bill was unpaid or the secret purchase was made.
One of the important financial decisions waiting for many couples in a long -term relationship is whether they integrate finances. Most people are thinking about operating before moving, getting married, and having children, but one partner loses their jobs or returns to school to take a break from work. In some cases, you can encourage conversations. All pairs have a bank account, or have a unique reason to oppose it, and there are many ways to address them.
This decision should not be lighter, as experts say that it may cause anxiety and shame. “This is one of the most important financial transitions or changes we experience in our lives,” says Financial Lawyer Amanda Craman.
Is there a clear financial situation?
Long before considering a combination of fiscal, we need to have a pretty good idea about the financial situation of the partner. Financial planner, Nathanox, needs to be transparent about each person's income, saving habits, and debt.
Crayman explains the financial agreements used by most couples as 1, 2 or 3 -pot system. “One pot is clearly all in one pot,” she says. “The two pots keep all separately, three pots have a joint pot, and we have each type of autonomy.” You can always open multiple joint accounts of various expenses, such as saving renovation. Think about the strengths and weaknesses of each system.
According to experts, several scenarios that couples may want to separate money
- If you are established with your financial routine
- If you or your partner will be divorced and the finances after your separation are complicated
- If you or your partner experiences economic affair or financial abuse (if a person manages the financial bodies)
- If your partner has a serious addiction to expose you and your family
However, sethi recommends that you need to hold a completely private account to use for some reason. “Only you can access it, but your partner doesn't do that,” he says. “But it's not a secret.”
If you are considering whether to open a joint account, you need to have a frank discussion on how fair looks. Are both parties expected to contribute equally, or are they committed to a higher amount of earners? What happens if one person suffers from economic set or change their situation? For example, what if you lose your job or receive a large medical expenses? Is that person hoped to support yourself from individual savings, or can you withdraw from a joint account?
“This is one of the most important financial transitions or changes we experience in our lives.”
“It's really important for people to understand the whole picture of their financial homes,” says Knox.
Part of this financial situation is “money luggage”, respectively. Megan Ford, a clinical professor at Georgia University and a director of the love and money center, suggests how your past financial experience has made the relationship with today's money. For example, understand why your partner may have accumulated debt and why you are worried about buying a big purchase.
Finally, look at the future. what do you want How to spend money? What kind of purchase makes you happy? What are your short and long -term money goals? This is the range from robust retirement savings to gorgeous vacations.
Will combining with finances give you a profit, or do you make a headache?
According to Ford, another initial consideration is to discuss the advantages of combining finances. Also deal with potential negative aspects and negative emotions.
For example, it may be easier to open a shared account account that can automatically draw utility payments every month. Also, if you integrate your finances with all your abilities, you may have an emotional advantage that your relationship will feel more secure.
Don't ignore your emotions when you think through these decisions. If you don't know you are with you for a long time, it may not make sense to open a joint account, even if you may be tentatively easier to make your life easier. When you have emotions, ask yourself why, instead of assuming why you make a terrible decision.
Are you worried because you are unpleasant to abandon some control of your money? Probably, you and your partner will agree to create a system that donates a specific amount to a joint account and separates the remaining finances. “Money will surface emotions,” says Clayman. “What we need to develop is how to satisfy our self -reliability and some surveys.
How much financial privacy do you are satisfied with?
In a completely unraveled finance, the back literally stops with you. However, if others pay you, a mortgage loan, and contribute to the leave fund, you need to prepare for transparency. Whatever the system you use to divide or combine your money, Setti believes that both partners should know all the accounts that each individual has.
If the couple is not completely honest with each other, problems may occur. Financial Affair -When a couple is hiding or hiding debt, it may be due to the more embarrassing problem you spend on the jacket or gambling poisoning.
In order to avoid these economic secrets, it is important not to judge each other for purchases that can be regarded as frivolous or unnecessary, said Megan McCoy, an assistant professor at Kansas State University. 。 Instead, understand why these purchases are very important for your partner. This may be a situation where you can select a private account for your personal discretionary expenditure. It is recommended that you discuss the problem with your partner with a direct but non -aggressive tone, and devise a plan to help mental health experts in a direct but non -aggressive tone.
Krayman says that maintaining trust and transparency with your money does not mean requiring perfection from your partner. If people are expected to stick to the rigid and almost impossible criteria, they may hide their partners that they do not like. “After that, we have a lot of secrets in human relationships,” says Crayman. “When is the best case [you admit] I am an incomplete financial, as we all are looking for a person with at least compatible with my complexity and its complexity. “
If you are convinced that you want to combine financials with a certain ability, you will want to outlaw exactly how to do it. How much money do you fuse? Do you want to open a new account in one of the established banks or explore another bank? How many joint accounts do you open and when do you contribute? What are these accounts useful for?
Clayman should give himself the next step. Set the deadline yourself: By next month we talked more about money. The following month, I will explain how to accurately combine our money. The following month, we will open an account. “You can practice watching numbers together for a while,” says Crayman.[ing] Raise your bank account and move everything there. This provides a space for overcoming prolonged emotions and wearing potential nerves.
During this on lamp, set the date to check in to see if this structure works for yourself. At this point, you can deal with the points of conflict.
Experts emphasize that there are no right or wrong roads here. Instead, find a way to manage the financial decisions of an efficient and comfortable unit for all related parties.