Positive parenting: Help your child solve problems – it’s an important life skill.

Problem solving is a very important life skill that we constantly strive to perfect throughout our lives. As parents, we can sometimes take this responsibility away from our children's hands. Sometimes it seems easier to solve the problem for them. We can feel that it is our job and our responsibility. It helps them, it makes their lives easier, and often it makes our own lives simpler just by doing it ourselves. However, this is not always the best option for children. It is important that children learn and practice problem-solving skills from an early age so that they can gain confidence in their ability to solve problems throughout their lives.

So how can parents help their children learn this important life skill? Make problem solving a game and make it fun. Your children may become detectives trying to solve problems. When your child has a problem, help them generate lots of ideas about what they can do so they have lots of options. If possible, make it personal for them. Ask if they've ever had a problem like this before, what they did, or what their friends did, as they may have had a similar experience.

Please give us time to consider each solution. For example, you can try acting or drawing. It doesn't have to be complicated. Just show it to me. This process helps children recognize the possible consequences of each solution. When considering possible solutions, help your child understand which is the best solution by asking, “Is that fair?” Is it safe? Does it lead to good feelings?

Examine the emotions each solution creates. Naming emotions is important so that children can self-regulate and learn better responses. Prepare children that the solution may not work. Ask them what they would do next if they couldn't do that.

The best way to teach children these skills is by example. Talk aloud about the process of solving some of your problems. Include steps to generate ideas, consider which ones are best, consider emotions, and plan for the possibility that your first solution may not work. Use stories, puppets, pictures, and role-play to help children learn this skill and practice it over and over to hone and perfect their problem-solving skills.

This article was contributed by a member of Parenting Limerick. Parenting Limerick is a network of parenting and family support organizations. For more information on this and other topics, please visit www.loveparenting.ie.