In one movie, you buy a kid Skittles. Then you say, “No sweets, it will ruin your teeth,” and your child screams. One night you read four books to your kids, but the next day you insist you only have time to read two, and they're begging and whining to read more. One morning you ask your child, “How do you feel about breakfast?” Then you say, “We're eating oatmeal, so we can't have anything else,” and they fold their arms, stomp their feet, and refuse the oatmeal, saying, “No way!” .
When parents do not agree to restrictions, the child's defiant behavior is reinforced, leading to whining, crying, and screaming. It wires kids to fight harder (by whining, begging, crying, screaming, protesting) to get things. Research shows that intermittent and random reinforcement is even more powerful than regular reinforcement. More sustainability and Increase in total effort oriented towards obtaining perceived rewards (Hogarth & Villeval, 2010).
Don't Break the Seal: The Effects of Chocolate Milk
For about 6 years, the child had never heard of chocolate milk. His parents never bought it, and he never drank it. The boy drank regular milk and had no problems. One day the boy was given chocolate milk. From then on, whenever he saw it (on a restaurant menu or at the grocery store), he begged for it.Introducing snacks and experiences to children Never The child may start begging for it.
If you're at a Target and your child is screaming loud enough for the next state to hear that they want a toy, that child has gotten a toy at Target before, even if it was only once. More likely.
“Breaking the seal” and surrendering will trigger a random enhancement. Children remember for a long time, so it is difficult to backpedal.
Parental consistency helps make children happier, healthier, and more cooperative
Research suggests that adolescents who consistently experience positive interactions with their parents have fewer depression and physical health symptoms (e.g., colds, flu) (Lippold et al., 2016). Conversely, negative and inconsistent parental behaviors are associated with the emergence of problem behaviors in early childhood and predict the persistence of problem behaviors into school age (Campbell, 1995). Inconsistent discipline has also been found to predict increased delinquent-oriented attitudes and antisocial behavior (and decreased socially competent behavior) in youth (Halgunseth et al., 2013).
Calm consistency is associated with parental warmth
Calm, firm consistency is associated with parental warmth. Parental warmth includes being affectionate, affectionate, positive, responsive, and non-punitive.
Parental warmth is highly correlated with positive psychological adjustment and personality traits such as independence, positive self-esteem, positive self-esteem, emotional reactivity, emotional stability, and a positive worldview. (Khaleque, 2013). In contrast, lower levels of parental warmth are associated with higher levels of child oppositional behavior (Stormshak et al., 2000).
Here are some examples of how parents can be warm, calm, and consistent.
- Have a consistent expectation of reading for 30 minutes before watching TV.
- Read the same number of books each night as part of your bedtime routine.
- Consistently provide dinner alternatives (if your child doesn't like dinner food, you can always feed them Cheerios or PB and J sandwiches).
- Set a certain number of minutes for your child to watch TV or participate in screens (for example, 60 minutes per day).
- Give your child consistent daily chores (like emptying the dishwasher).
- Give your child a consistent snack (such as a fruit bar) after helping out at the grocery store.
- Establish a strong “when” and “then” routine. For example, “After you finish your homework, you can go to your neighbor's house” or “After you take a shower, you can watch a show.”
Any effort to be consistent will seriously improve children's behavior and cooperation. Just like adults, children love to know what will happen. They feel safe knowing their boundaries and routines.
References
Campbell SB. (1995). Problem behavior in preschool children: A review of recent research. J Child Psychology Psychiatry. Jan 1995;36(1):113-49. doi: 10.1111/j.1469-7610.1995.tb01657.x. PMID: 7714027.
Harganthes LC, Perkins DF, Lippold MA, Nix RL. (2013). Delinquency-oriented attitudes mediate the relationship between parental inconsistent discipline and early adolescent behavior. J Fem Psychol, (2):293-302. doi: 10.1037/a0031962. PMID: 23544924; PMCID: PMC3881539. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3881539/
Hogarth, Robin, Villeval, Marie Claire. (2010). Intermittent reinforcement and behavioral persistence: Experimental evidence. HAL, Postprint. 10.2139/ssrn.1670074. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/46478781_Intermittent_Reinforcement_and_the_Persistence_of_Behavior_Experimental_Evidence
Kalek, A. (2013). Perceived parental warmth, child psychological adjustment, and personality tendencies: A meta-analysis. J Child Fam Stud, 22:297–306 DOI 10.1007/s10826-012-9579-z https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Abdul-Khaleque-9/publication/25757…
Lippold MA, Davis KD, Lawson KM, McHale SM. (2016). Daily consistency in positive parent-child interactions and adolescent well-being. J Child Femme Stud. 2016 Dec;25(12):3584-3592. doi: 10.1007/s10826-016-0502-x. PMID: 28736495; PMCID: PMC5519304. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5519304/
Stormshak EA, Bierman KL, McMahon RJ, Lengua LJ. (the year of 2000). Parenting practices and children's disruptive behavior issues in early elementary school. Conducted a trouble prevention study group. J Clin Child Psychology. 2000 Mar;29(1):17-29. doi: 10.1207/S15374424jccp2901_3. PMID: 10693029; PMCID: PMC2764296. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2764296/