This father was upset that his ex-husband was so intent on feeding his son, and he took to Reddit to ask:
“Is it wrong to feed my son what I eat?”
I (29 guys) have a 2 1/2 year old son who I only leave him with for one night on the weekends (so far I've been trying to take him out a few nights in a row). I allow myself to eat what I eat and try new foods. .
His mother (24f) has been very strict about him being vegan since he was born. This means that it may not contain any animal products, may contain meat, dairy, or products made from dairy products, and may contain ingredients that appear to contain alcohol (such as vanilla extract). This means that it does not contain anything that is sexually active or that is not marked organic on the package.
While we lived together (separated on October 5th and moved out on November 8th), I am not allowed to eat anything I like in non-vegan food near my son. did.
We live in New Hampshire. I've never been married. I just want to raise my son fairly and don't have to follow all of his mother's rules and demands like I used to.
I always had to wait until he went to bed at 8 or 9 before I could eat something non-vegan. I personally never liked eating similar meals for lunch and dinner.
The compromise was to allow him to eat vegan chicken nuggets and sandwich patties. That way, when I wanted to eat something decent, he could feel included in eating the same kind of food as me. After a while, she stopped out of fear that he might actually want to eat the meat.
After she broke up with me, I allowed my son to watch me eat and sample anything that was reasonable. Naturally, he tells her mother about trying new foods, but her mother gets angry that I don't follow her mother's rules.
Is it wrong to feed my son something similar to what I eat? Should I follow her strict rules in my house?
OP then provides an initial update with details about her son's doctor's visit.
At his first appointment in a year, the doctor said he should include meat in his diet, his mother was angry at the doctor, and I was angry because I sided with the experts.
He wants to try everything that those around him have. I hated saying no to him when we went somewhere before we broke up. Now I feed him the same food I eat. I now eat it with every meal, something I didn't enjoy before.
I'm careful! I keep track of what he throws up and for now I won't let him eat it until he eats more varied foods. Did my ex say this is abuse? Take a break (milk chocolate and ice cream cake are the only foods that make you throw up easily).
Whatever he tries new, I give him about half and tell him he doesn't have to eat the whole thing if he doesn't like it. So far he liked everything except for some beans at one point.
The OP then provides a second update, which includes more information about the custody battle.
We are currently filing a lawsuit for joint custody. She's still Sarm. she has a job She won't take me out at night because I have work to do the next morning. I have a great support system and he will be there to watch me on the days I work. You can also leave him in a daycare center.
From day one I told her I didn't think being vegan was the best idea for him. I wanted him to also eat the foods I liked and feel included when I ate them, rather than excluding him from things his father enjoyed. .
I finally decided to change my favorites to vegan options just to enjoy the same meals as him.
If he chooses to become vegan on his own, I will accept it 100% when the time comes. I'm sorry if I can't answer all of them. If I have forgotten anything, I will update it again.
OP then gives another update about her past with her ex.
In November, I hired a lawyer to take my ex-husband to court so I could have my son over the weekend. She made things very difficult at first. Originally, he wasn't allowed to take her to sleepovers at all.
And she requested that I take him every day when I was free. The one-hour travel time exhausted me more quickly. Especially on weekends, I originally drove 8 hours on weekends just to have him home.
A paternity hearing will be held this Friday before mediation to confirm that he is mine. Her father has a lot of money, so he pays her bills now.
Initially, after we broke up, she wanted me to pay everything and continue living there because “I'm a father and it's my job to provide for her,'' but she didn't want me to leave the house. I stayed another month longer until I could.
I couldn't mentally bear to see her go on dates or sleep with other people while I was home taking care of her after work.
His doctor told her that she needed to eat meat. She got mad at her doctor for that, and then she got mad at me because I took the doctor's side. I'm going to go to court but she keeps asking me to drop the case and keeps saying it's a waste of her time and money because she's saam and the court will side with her.
Of course I have a job, so I work. So she only takes me one night a week when I'm not working, so on Tuesdays and Thursdays she takes me for an hour and a half after work, and on Saturdays and Sundays from 2pm to 7:30pm. I'm going.
I live an hour away and it's very difficult to drive there. I just want him from Friday night until Monday morning or Monday night.
Let's take a look at some of the top answers.
Hairy Shell writes:
NW I'm vegan and my kids are exposed to everything. Do I cook meat for them? No, but my husband does and we order normal kids food at restaurants. They also eat vegan food, but nothing in excess, such as vegan burgers, beans and rice, fries, fresh fruit, and the regular stuff.
Veganism should be a choice just like religion. Your child should know all the options before making a choice.
BlueAvol writes:
With people saying that a vegan diet can be harmful to infants and young children, wouldn't it be good to develop a microbiome that can accommodate a wide range of foods?
Research shows that strictly restricting peanuts to young babies actually increases the chance of severe allergic reactions later in life.
Shouldn't you introduce your child to these foods so their system can handle it? There are many people who are sensitive to nuts and soy. What happens if you can't get your protein from these sources?
Equal Brilliant writes:
Veganism is difficult enough for adults at the best of times. And for children it is very difficult. Be sure to talk to your doctor, let her know that your mom is going vegan, and have a discussion with her to make sure she's doing it right and not just a “salad” vegan.
The good news and the bad news is that when you feed him meat, it offsets any deficiencies in his diet and makes it harder to prove if she's doing it wrong.
Even if you follow her diet, what will she do when he gets older and wants to eat meat like his classmates? Do you deny it to him? It seems to me that her being a vegan, forcing her son to be vegan, and forcing you to be vegan is control, which is a form of abuse. .
Being vegan doesn't make you a better person, being vegan is harmful to the environment, and being vegan is harmful to animals.
The previous ad0 is written as follows.
It's 100% normal for a two and a half year old to eat what their parents are eating, and it's clear that different families have different views on health. But I wasn't cooking a separate meal for my toddler.
Your situation is a little different, but I'd like to say she's wrong here. She has her own beliefs and can eat the way she chooses. And she can definitely teach your son about it, and her son will eat her way when she's at home.
I'm sorry that you separated, but if your ex-husband, who is the father of your child, lives in another house and has made his own custody arrangements for his son, then he has to give his son what he wants to feed him. The fact is that you can make them eat anything.
She can't control it any more than she can control what her son wants to eat as he learns different things about food and nutrition as an older child and teenager.
You definitely don't have to feed her exactly as she says. That's a little different. So let's say your son eats a completely vegan diet at home and goes to grandma's house for the weekend. I think it's fine to remind your parents how your family eats and feed their son accordingly, but you belong to his child's father! She can't control it.
YNW, but you should consult a lawyer to resolve things better. It's okay for her to request that her son not eat too much junk food, but it's okay for her to request that you deny him regular nutritious food.
And keep in mind that children raised strictly vegan/vegetarian will have a hard time eating animal protein as adults and may not be able to digest it at all. To me, this is a form of abuse and forces a child into a diet they don't want to maintain when they grow up. Good luck.
ladyxochi writes:
I am divorced and remarried. My husband and I both have children from previous relationships. I spoke with multiple coaches and counselors about how to co-parent with an ex-boyfriend and how to co-parent at home with other people's children.
All the city council members say: “Under my roof” vs. “Under your roof.” This means that while it is good to teach children the same values, the rules that apply to one parent/household (roof) will not necessarily work for the other house/parent. means. It's good to let each other know, but don't expect your ex to follow your rules.
In your case: I would tell your ex that I am not going to raise my son vegan and that I will let him decide. But once you tell her this. Don't tell her every time you give him something other than vegan. I would like to tell your son that his mother is vegan and that it is a good choice for her.
And you're not vegan, and it's a good choice too. Perhaps you can tell your son that you understand where his mother is coming from and understand her choices. The most important thing is that you respect her choices.
And tell your son that if he wants to eat only vegan foods when he's okay with it, you can facilitate that. But if he wants to eat the same thing as you, that's okay too. Well, let's simplify it for a two and a half year old. But you get the point, right?
Whatever you do, never tell your son that his mother made the wrong choice. She can only hope that she will do the same. After all, children know who is in control and who is cooperative.
dimgrund7 writes:
National Tax Agency. It's a different thing if you're both vegan numbers and following a nutrition plan set by a licensed nutritionist, either a doctor or a nutritionist. Apparently she became vegan after he was born. You never stated if she was vegan before having the child and he only stated that she was feeding the child a vegan diet, so that's implied.
So the missing information is, is she vegan and how long has she been on this path? One of the things I'm concerned about is that your son might be drawn to eating meat in the future when he gets to make his own choices, so she recommends that you eat meat substitutes. It means that he forced them to stop.
How long is she going to force your son on this diet? At what point can he decide for himself?
If you don't have a written custody agreement, you should get one now. She has no right to force you to feed her son only what she wants.
First, make an appointment with your doctor and nutritionist for the next time you have custody, and have her sign a letter stating that your son doesn't need a vegan diet.
You can afford to have a lawyer draft a custody agreement that prevents him from influencing your diet or your son's diet.
OP seems to be mostly NTA here. Do you agree with his parenting policies? Or maybe his ex has a point?
©Copyright 2024 Someecards, Inc.
