Many parents are passionate about their chosen parenting style, whether they prefer an authoritarian approach or a gentle parenting approach. But sometimes that passion gets in the way of what's most important.
One mother learned this lesson after differences in parenting styles caused an irreparable rift between her and a close friend.
One mother said different approaches to parenting had ruined her friendships.
The anonymous mother shared her story on Reddit because she “just wanted to vent.” She explained that her 3-year-old daughter is “a little behind in some developmental milestones, but this is normal due to a genetic disease,” adding that her daughter is not behind and wonders if intervention is needed. She made it clear that she was watching over him. future.
One day, the mother was spending time with a friend who was also her daughter's godmother. “Her friend and I were talking about parenting and everyone else,” she said. “Her friend has three kids. She's hitting on them, but she knows I'm not doing it.”
Little did she know that this difference would have a huge impact on their friendship.
“I just finished saying how well-behaved her children are and how her oldest is doing well in school,” she said. This conversation quickly went downhill.
“She talks about how surprised she is that my child is so polite for a 3-year-old.'' ,” the mother said. “I was concerned about the comments that my child would have that right, that I only have one child, that if I had a sibling it wouldn't have turned out this way.”
As if those comments weren't hurtful enough, the mom's so-called friend's final criticism was the final straw. “Finally she commented that her slow development was due to my upbringing and I broke up with her,” she wrote.
Gentle parenting is a parenting approach that has gained considerable popularity recently.
The Cleveland Clinic describes this parenting style as follows: This parenting style primarily focuses on age-appropriate development. ”
“While traditional parenting styles focus on punishment and rewards, gentle parenting focuses on improving children's self-awareness and understanding of their own behavior.”
“The idea is to act more like a coach than to punish the child,” pediatrician Dr. Karen Estrella told the Cleveland Clinic.
Gentle parenting is, in many ways, a way to reclaim parenting. Rather than just reacting to a child's behavior, we give some control back to the child and treat him with the respect we would give to a fellow adult.
Gentle parenting does not mean easy parenting.
In a post on Reddit, her mother highlighted the fact that her daughter did not have an easy childhood.
“My child is not a picky person,” she said. “Many of her actions required consistency and boundaries. But she doesn't brag no matter how much she wants to. She's proud of her growth and the challenges we faced. .”
It hasn't been an easy road for this family, despite friends' claims that their daughter is spoiled or “entitled.” Choosing a gentler approach to parenting doesn't make parenting any easier. In fact, it can become even more difficult if you remove the concept of quick punishments and rewards based on behavior.
No matter how difficult or easy someone's approach to parenting is, it's never a good idea to judge. Unless abuse or neglect is suspected, letting your pet do what you think is best for your family is usually the right choice.
In an update, the mother revealed that she has already ended her friendship with her daughter's godmother due to her unwanted and hurtful comments. “Please know, I have already eliminated her,” she wrote. “I'm glad my kids are young enough to forget about her.”
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango, covering entertainment, news and relationships topics.
