Raising a child, from teenagers to toddlers, is never easy, and it can be difficult, especially for new parents, to understand what behaviors are acceptable, appropriate, and even healthy.
One mom admitted on Reddit that she was struggling with this inner conflict with her 5-year-old daughter: At first, she tried out some “gentle parenting” techniques casually, but soon realized her daughter was growing into a “little monster.”
His mother admitted that despite trying to raise him kindly for most of her life, she had raised a “little monster.”
“To put it as kindly as possible, my 5 year old daughter is extremely lazy and rebellious,” the anonymous mother began her post. “I really don’t know what to do anymore.”
“I tried to ‘raise her kindly’ but somehow I created a little monster. First, I want to say that she is smart, intelligent and does very well in school,” her mother continued. “At home it’s a different story.”
Not only does her daughter expect her parents to do everything for her, her mother admitted, but parenting is a constant battle.
“She won’t dress herself, she won’t feed herself and she wants me to feed her and even asks me to think for her,” her mother added. “She won’t even wipe her own hands or face and she literally sits covered in food until I come and correct her.”
“I don’t expect my daughter to magically be able to do everything,” she clarified, “just little things like feeding herself or putting on her shoes.”
My daughter is disobedient, expects to be “looked after,” and throws constant tantrums when she doesn’t get her way.
The mother explained that with her daughter, everything is a battle, from getting ready for school to getting dressed for bed — and no matter what she does, nothing seems to change.
“No matter how much I tell her to do it the right way, it’s no use. I give her consequences for her behavior (which results in her bawling, screaming, yelling and hitting me),” she admitted. “I’m embarrassed to write all this out. It feels like I’m the one constantly getting on her nerves.”
Fizkes / Shutterstock
Despite abandoning the “gentle parenting” trend, she admits that her daughter’s behavior hasn’t improved: From tantrums to hitting her parents, caring for a young daughter, let alone disciplining her, is incredibly exhausting and taxing on her mother.
“I live in constant anxiety,” she said. “Everything is a battle. I’m always trying to decide what hill I’m going to die on, because mentally, I can’t die on every hill anymore.”
Many parents say the “terrible twos” are the worst time of their children’s lives, but in this mother’s experience, 5-year-olds are even worse. She’s not the only one to have noticed an increase in misbehavior and tantrums among 5-year-olds; the emerging trend is theorized to mean this age group is disproportionately affected by societal factors.
Between social media, technology and pandemic-related influences, children in this age group appear to be struggling with their behavior more than older generations their age.
Most parents have given this motherhood a blessing, suggesting “unpleasant” parenting techniques that can help them discipline their children.
“I don’t know if I’m dealing with an exceptionally strong-willed child, a terrible parent, or some kind of disorder,” she admitted. “When I see other kids dealing with things so calmly and normally, I have no idea what I’m doing wrong.”
In the comments section, many parents urged this mom to be more lenient with herself and with her young daughter. At just 5 years old, there are some things that this little girl can’t do without help, like calming herself or tying her shoes, and that’s OK. But reminding herself what those things are will help her set boundaries that protect both her sanity and healthy authority over her daughter.
“Something similar happened to my child recently,” one mom added in the post. “You have to call their bluff. The reason they have power in this situation is because they know you wouldn’t wear something like that to daycare or school.”
After all, children go through incredibly heightened emotions and feelings, and general confusion about recognizing their own feelings. This mom’s concerns are very valid, and commenters applauded her for her self-awareness, while the majority agreed that things will definitely get better. “She’s now trying to stop her bad behavior before she hits her teen years. Good luck!”
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango, specializing in health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.
