A woman who gave advice to another mother to style her daughter's hair has been backed.
She took to the popular Reddit forum AmItheA****** to explain that her 9-year-old daughter had a new friend, a black girl who was adopted by white parents.
After spending time together, u/ Slight_Beginning6445 and her family noticed that the girl's hair was not being properly maintained. My husband's black grandmother, who we live with, pointed it out and offered to give advice and help untangle it.
The woman refused an offer of assistance from her grandmother-in-law to her mother. However, my friend's mother didn't like it.
The original poster (OP) wrote, “The mother was unable to properly care for her daughter and was very upset that I suggested that I was overstepping my bounds.”
The friend's mother reportedly said she wasn't the first to bring up the issue and felt insulted, and accused OP of ruining her parenting. Now, Redditor is worried that he may have hurt his daughter's friendship.
“I can understand why she would be upset if she thought I was trying to suggest that she wasn't taking good care of her daughter,” she wrote.
“On the other hand, it’s 2024, there’s a lot of information out there to help you style your daughter’s hair, and we live near a big city. [are] “There were a lot of salons I could take my daughter to,” she said.
Newsweek spoke to Fleur East, who co-founded hair care brand Kurl Kitchen with her sister Keisha. Ms East, who has a dual heritage of a Ghanaian mother and a white British father, explained that her parents also struggled with styling their hair.
East said OP could have asked the mother what her daughter's current hair care routine is and suggested some products.
“This is a sensitive topic and you never know how others will react to your innocent approach of wanting to help. It's not what you say, it's how you say it that matters,” she said. spoke. newsweek.
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East acknowledged that her friend's mother may feel especially defensive given that she is raising a child of a different race.
“Always handle situations like this in a careful and nonchalant way, leaving the door open for those who want to help to feel confident asking questions. It's hard when you don't know how to handle your child's hair. “Knowledge and education are not always available to everyone,” she said.
Since the time of writing, OP's post has received 12,000 upvotes and hundreds of comments, many of which shared their struggles with having the hair that multi-textured hair experts need.
One Redditor explained that her niece's hair is curlier than her mother's. “When I was babysitting her, I went to a black salon to learn how to do her hair. I was so scared that I would hurt her when I combed her hair. They… has helped me so much. Those women are still the best,” they wrote. .
The most liked comment was from u/Scary-Welder8404, assuming the hair care advice was given in a private setting, she is not ****** I declared. “The woman needs to learn to love her daughter more than her own pride. Her daughter's hair is different from hers, and caring for it requires different techniques and tools,” they write.
