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How does a former Human Intelligence Unit (HUMINT) interrogator help me transform into the business leader I want to be in a field that has nothing to do with investigating terrorist criminal activity? I am often asked.
Most of my clients are involved in human resources, employee relations, sales, and financial research. They are entrepreneurs, business owners, executives, coaches, and auditors. Although I left the interrogation world a long time ago, I still use my HUMINT skills to lead difficult conversations with confidence and authority, pinpoint deception, and pursue the truth. Over the past 20 years of reporting, I can accurately say that liars exhibit similar deceptive behavior.
Here are five deceptive behaviors to be extremely careful of, and what to do if you encounter them.
RELATED: Use this secret military trick to tell if someone is lying
1. Can't answer yes or no
The simplest test to give someone you think is hiding the truth is to ask a yes/no question, like “Are you being honest with me?” This is because truth-tellers typically answer closed-ended questions quickly and concisely with a yes or no, whereas liars tend to avoid answering them.
For example, in a post-trial interview with O.J. Simpson in 2016, a reporter asked O.J. [Bruno Magli shoes]?OJ paused, took a deep breath and shrugged his shoulders.First of all, I wasn't supposed to wear those ugly shoes.“He never answered that question. If he was honest, he should have answered 'no.'
People who lie tend to exaggerate their “yes” or “no” answers because they believe they are not convincing enough. As a result, they will typically say “never, always” for yes and “I never” for no. Ask closed-ended questions and listen to their responses. Is it truth or deception?
2. Missing pronouns “I” and “my”
Pronouns play a big role in spotting deception. The possessive pronouns “I” and “my” indicate that the person is responsible for what they say. Usually, when a liar does not want to take ownership of knowledge or information, he replaces these two pronouns with other pronouns such as “you,” “we,” “they,” or completely I avoid it.
For example, if you ask an employee who has allegedly engaged in an ethics violation, “What happened?” And they say, “We're trying to figure out what happened.” “Maybe he's avoiding responsibility because he didn't say anything.”I Remember Anthony Weiner? When he was lying and saying, “I'm trying to figure out who sent the tweets from my account.'' Even though he is responsible for his own account. , is not responsible for what you are trying to figure out. A great way to deal with this behavior is to ask: and who Are you trying to figure this out? ”
3. Inconsistency in behavior
Behavioral inconsistency is the most accurate indicator of deception. It happens when our body language contradicts our spoken words. When we are honest, our words, voices, emotions, facial expressions, and gestures naturally synchronize. When we tell lies, they contradict themselves. His two big examples of behavioral incongruities that are easy to identify include shrugging his shoulders and nodding or shaking his head.
When we doubt what we're saying, we shrug our shoulders in disbelief. If someone says this, “I know exactly what happened.” And they shrug, you have a problem. They question what they are saying. You should too.
In most cultures, a nod of the head means “yes” and a shake of the head means “no.”if someone says, ”i like your idea,” But if you shake your head, you might not like it. When you see someone acting incongruous, don't trust them. Instead, ask, “Why should I believe you?” An honest person will usually say, “Because I'm telling the truth.” Any other response should be suspicious.
Related: 10 easy-to-understand phrases that tell you someone isn't telling the truth
4. Smokescreen
A smokescreen is a ploy to hide someone's true intentions and actions. People try to avoid answering the question by moving the conversation to another topic, so you focus on their ruse rather than what actually happened.
Here is an example. A former police officer named Drew Peterson, currently in prison for the murder of his third wife and a missing fourth wife, revealed in an interview with Larry King that his marriage to his fourth wife was He said he was going through a tough time. After his sister's death, he was treated for depression. It's a great disguise to blame for the problems in their marriage. He also claimed that she ran off with another man. Another cover-up was staged to remove him from the investigation spotlight.
When you ask questions to uncover the truth, if the liar doesn't want you to know the truth, he or she may try to cover up the lie and use a smokescreen to shift your attention elsewhere. If you notice someone using a smokescreen, redirect the conversation to the topic in question.
5. Lying voice (pitch, speed, breathing)
To spot a lie, you need to pay attention to the words people say and how they sound. Most people get nervous when they lie, which causes their vocal cords to tense and raise their pitch. You may also unconsciously change the speed at which you speak. People who lie may try to speak quickly to avoid being questioned, while others may struggle to think of what to say and slow down. Worry about your cognitive decline may cause you to speak more slowly. In any case, having listened to liars over the past 20 years, I can tell you that the speed with which they tell lies varies.
Finally, when someone is lying to you, they will start breathing heavily and you will hear them gasping for breath. Basically, you're out of breath due to increased heart rate from flying or fighting. So if you hear a change in someone's voice, investigate it. Ask questions about that specific topic to uncover the truth.
These five behaviors are very accurate in distinguishing truth from deception. Reading about them has increased my awareness of them. So the next time you have a hunch that someone is not being honest, ask yourself if that person has displayed any of these five deceptive behaviors.
Related: The one interview technique that will ensure you tell the truth
