Duchess Doolittle, aka Meghan Markle, has revealed yet another devious scheme to make money.
On Thursday, the 42-year-old debuted a new lifestyle brand called American Riviera Orchard on Instagram.
Goopy Project sounds like the name a neighbor in Montecito, Calif., might give to their third-born child, but I digress.
In this mildest of announcements, Markle's social media posts and new website provide no details about what products she will sell or what she specifically does. It wasn't shown. However, in her trademark application, she states that she plans to promote her cookbooks and home products.
So far, Instagram shows a golden logo written in calligraphy. That's amazing. What a royal road! — and grainy video clips of Megs stirring in the kitchen, picking flowers, and standing at the end of the hall.
wonderful. Another destination in her bizarre quest to become Martha Stewart. Well, Martha Stewart if no one watched Stewart's TV show or bought her magazines, cookbooks, and kitchenware.
Let me say that right now. It would be even more embarrassing if this glorious Etsy page ever took off.
Remember Markle's now-defunct lifestyle blog, The Tig (2014-2017)?
I thought not.
Markle called the site a “hub for people with discerning tastes” and used it to share recipes and beauty tips.
She mentioned the names of famous friends like Serena Williams, and interviewed Elizabeth Hurley and Ivanka Trump (a fact she's sure we've all forgotten).
However, Tig's acting career ended when she married Prince Harry and became a working royal.
She and Harry quickly quit after less than two years.
And then there was Duchess Kate and Prince Harry's $20 million Spotify deal. The plan was scrapped because the pair failed to meet “productivity benchmarks.”
Or as Spotify executive and podcaster Bill Simmons put it: That's the podcast we should start with them. ”
The two were hardly mainstays at Netflix, which signed them for an exorbitant $100 million. (Consider that Timothée Chalamet was paid only $8 million for “Wonka.”) This partnership resulted in just a few unforgettable documentaries.
A source told The Wrap that Harry and Meghan were “exhausted by their Hollywood reception due to their lack of experience and desire for control.”
Shocker. I can't say I have much sympathy for either party, Hollywood or the Sussexes, in this case.
For Markle, the CV has come to represent expensive vanity.
And what a shamelessly opportunistic moment it is to pull back the curtains on tablecloths and coasters.
Her nemesis, Duchess Kate, has been under public fire for days for altering family photos that have been hidden from public view for months. Royal conspiracy theorists have suggested everything from infidelity to plastic surgery.
Don't worry, Kate, Meghan is here to steal the spotlight!
While Prince William spoke in person at an event honoring the late Princess Diana in London on Wednesday, Prince Harry appeared only via video stream after his estranged brother left the building.
Perhaps Harry was too busy in the garage packing up his wife's American Riviera Orchard-inspired coffee mug. What a prince.
