Instead, I was surprised and angry that my in-laws and some members of my own family unilaterally chose a shortened version of the name. They also messed up the spelling in a way that I intensely despise, presumably to match the child's gender. They never used their full names.
This is done on social media, texts, and packaging since they have not met the child. I know they're disgusting, but I don't know if I have the right to correct them. I feel like I have absolutely no right to force a name on a child when they don't have an opinion yet. And correcting a family member who is probably just trying to call a newborn baby “cute” or “not adult-like” can be just as rude.
Next time I visit, I will politely express my distaste for them using that nickname. What do you think?
That Methuselah There is a long road ahead.
Ms. Manners worries that she won't be able to monitor what names your child's relatives use. But you'll probably say, “What a cute nickname!” I'm sure we all lovingly come up with our own variations, but until your child is old enough to say it, use their full name. I intend on doing it. I just want to avoid confusion. I'm sure you'll understand. ” Even if they don't, we all know they'll ignore you.
Dear Manners: My husband called from work and said he was bringing home a dinner guest, a colleague from out of town. I cooked a nice dinner, sent the kids to a friend's house, and got dressed properly for the day.
I served the food and sat down to eat some while making small talk with the guests. The customer looked at my plate and said, “Do you really think you should eat that much?” Look at your size. ” I have never been so surprised in my life. I just sat in silence and ate my meal. I didn't reply, but her husband never defended me or called me out of line.
In hindsight, I think this was all my husband's conspiracy, because even though I had gained a few kilos, he himself did not know how to deal with this problem. I never brought it up again. What should I have done in this situation?
To quote the expression The phrase “no disrespect in one's own home” comes to mind for Ms. Manners, and it applies to your husband as well.
The new Miss Manners column will run Monday through Saturday. washingtonpost.com/advice. You can submit your questions through Manor's website. missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
