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Dear care and food,
I am a single mother and am struggling to make ends meet. I have two of his teenage sons who always seem to be hungry and have hollow legs. When I go grocery shopping, I always stop and say hi to “Mary.” She Mary gives me discounts and she usually tells me about bargains and specials. She gets frozen pizza in bulk for 1/3 of her price and is back in the black.
Well, I made a mistake telling my mother about Mary. Her mother works full time and is her grandmother's primary caregiver. She has little time for herself. Mary helped her grandmother find some discounted and expensive foods that she could actually eat. She advised her mother about knowing when items are marked down and when is the best time to shop. From then on, her mother made sure to treat Mary like her own personal shopper. She called her store and asked Mary to cancel her transaction (which is against her store's policy). Mary was sympathetic and did so several times, but her mother never showed up even though she said she would. It was several hours after Mary's shift ended and her food was put back on the floor. Mother decided to complain to her store manager and she had Mary write a letter.
I didn't find out any of this until I went grocery shopping again and talked to Mary. She bitterly explained what had happened and I realized it was my mother. She wanted to be swallowed whole by the ground, she was so embarrassed. When I questioned her mother, she didn't think she had done anything wrong. Her time is clearly more valuable than that of the retail store employee, so Mary offers to help. Now her perspective on her mother has completely changed. She's just amazed that she thinks that way. What should she say to make her understand? Should I say or do something for Mary?
–No good deeds
Not a dear deed,
First things first: Apologize to Mary for her mother's actions and explain that you would never have brought them together if you had expected her to behave that way. Next, talk to the store manager and tell her what a gem Mary is and how much you appreciate her support when shopping for her. As for your mom, is this the first time you've seen her act like a deserved asshole? If so, the stress of caring for her grandmother may be having a negative effect on her. Tell her in no uncertain terms that her behavior has disappointed and embarrassed you. Tell her how much Mary has helped you as you try to support her family on a budget and that she doesn't have to do what Mary has done for your family. Let me remind you. Explain to her that this woman went out of her way to help her, but she didn't show up on time to receive her help. Talk about how unkind it was to report someone who only cared about you, and how Mary could have easily lost her job because of her cruelty.tell her it's time for her do not have Don't think of anything more important than the retail employee and remind her that she is the one in trouble in this situation, not Mary. And think twice before introducing someone to your mother again in this situation.
–Jamila
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