Permissive and domineering parenting are associated with hikikomori

The media, especially columnists, often criticize the role of teachers, medical professionals, and parents in one way or another. After all, what else are they going to do? Sure, all of these areas play some role in our development, and it may be helpful to discuss the state of things, but I would like to take readers (including you) with a pinch of salt here: I hope you will take your time to understand what is being said. With that in mind, consider the role that parenting plays in an individual's ability to self-actualize and grow into a confident adult. That's not the only role. A myriad of other factors are also important, including genetic predisposition, social circles, technology, and access to services.

Nevertheless, recent studies Review of Clinical Child and Family Psychology identified the role of parenting as a key environmental factor in the symptoms of people with extreme social withdrawal (ESW) and less extreme variants such as those not engaged in education or training and adulthood. “Overall,” the report said. It can be concluded that adverse family processes play an important role in the development and maintenance of ESW” (Muris & Ollendick, 2023, 468). These processes involve parents who suffer from “some form of psychopathology” and whose parenting style is “characterized by poor communication and cohesion,” which leaves their children exposed to “harmful parenting practices.” (Muris & Ollendick, 2023, 468). In this area, some people have parents who exhibit a combination of overbearing (helicopter behavior) and/or overindulgence. This involves a type of permissive parenting that lacks rules, structure, expectations, and consequences.

Interestingly, this shows up not only in clinical studies, but also in the Reddit feeds and anime watched by self-proclaimed hikikomori. Not all permissive parenting delays the transition to adulthood, but all hikikomori have parents like this. The findings of this study were not surprising to me. I have worked in outpatient settings as well as residential facilities for both adolescents and adults. All patients who complain of extreme social withdrawal and anxiety about self-actualization come from parents like the ones just outlined. Although not mentioned in the article, most people with this condition come from wealthy families, and the pressure to maintain the status quo can lead to a significant decline in an individual's standard of living, inhibiting their motivation to step out of their lavish lifestyle. The fact is that there is a gender. A comfortable place to stay.

Let's stop and think for a moment. If someone has been over you all your life and hasn't allowed you to try something, fail, and figure it out on your own, it's hard to believe that you have the ability to solve problems or take risks. Do you feel it? Perhaps the parents are ambivalent about the child's transition to independence, perhaps because they are not ready to let go of the child, or because the child is avoiding a drop in his standard of living. Add to that a technological environment that promotes social isolation through dopaminergic rewards, and a school and health care system that errs on the side of coddling to avoid cancellation, and you end up creating a cycle. To break this cycle, we must work on parenting because that is literally where parenting lives.

I mean, I've never treated a patient with these symptoms. The patient has a parent who clearly communicates their expectations, rules, and boundaries and reinforces them with positivity, compassion, and meaningful rewards and consequences. None of these patients had or expected odd jobs or summer jobs. Please note that we are excluding other presentations here. Effective parenting is not a guarantee against mental illness. There are a thousand different situations we can be in in this world: thought disorders, neurocognitive disorders, trauma, death anxiety, grief. However, parenting definitely has an impact on ESW patients and those whose transition to adulthood is delayed.

When this is brought up, parents' typical reluctance is that they have a hard time practicing self-control because the role is too difficult. He doesn't want to be the bad guy. But that's their job. For these reasons, raising children is extremely difficult, which is why our society needs to provide better support for raising children. Until then, the best way for parents to help children who are delayed in ESW or the transition to adulthood is to engage in their own behavioral therapy and parent effectiveness training. Parent Effectiveness Training is a program that takes 24 hours to complete and includes improving communication, setting clear boundaries, rules, expectations, and meaningful reinforcement (aka rewards and consequences). Behavioral therapy can help parents deal with the discomfort they have when introducing rules and structures. In addition, children need behavioral approaches, such as acceptance and commitment therapy, to combat experiential avoidance that impedes self-actualization.

It can be said that it is a parent's job to raise adults. Parents who just want to be friends with their children should consider being patient. Such a relationship blossoms when the child leaves your home and returns to his own. As Mark Twain said: “When I was a boy of fourteen years old, my father was so ignorant that he could not bear to have an old man around. When he turned 21, he was amazed at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

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