Editor's note: This article was originally published on July 28, 2023 and has since been updated.
There is a sudden increase in different types of parenting styles popularized by content creators on social media platforms. Regardless of the approach parents take to raising their children, their behavior, mood swings, and language can have a significant impact on their developing child. For this reason, most parents strive to provide for their children and be reliable. Dr. Kim Sage, a certified clinical psychologist, has recently become popular on TikTok for her videos detailing a parenting style called “eggshell parenting.”
Many netizens had questions about this new term, but Dr. Sage explained the details in a series of TikTok videos focused on the topic. Dr. Sage defines this particular parenting style as “a parent's unpredictable moods and behaviors that make children feel like they're walking on eggshells,” and warnings and cues are Little or no. She went on to talk about how eggshell parenting can make a child “hyper-vigilant about what may or may not happen next.”
“Even if you're a loving, safe, wonderful person, if it means you can be fundamentally unsafe, you're not safe,” she says in one of her videos. “Firstly, the mood of a parent is like a roller coaster ride. You never know what's going to happen, but there are always significant highs and lows. Emotionally, what happens is… You never know, but you have to be prepared for the unsafe parts,'' Dr. Sage explains. She believes that verbal abuse is also a clear example of eggshell parenting.
“In a sense, they verbally make you feel bad about yourself. They may intimidate you. They use punishment to control, intimidate and shame you. “Maybe,” the psychologist continues. “So when you make a mistake as a child, it's not a matter of the fact that you're a developing child; it's a matter of the fact that you have to be taught what you did wrong and be punished. Eggshell parents not only guilt-trip and ridicule their children, they also tend to ignore their children's feelings and gaslight them.
“So you always have to be wary of how they feel in your body and in a kind of sense of self. So you have to be aware of what defenses you have to put in place to protect yourself. “They're living on eggshells because they have no idea what's going on,” Dr. Sage continues. , they explain that they develop unhealthy coping mechanisms later in life, reflecting negative experiences in childhood. “It's like constantly scanning for threats and changes. And that can be very irritating to your body and emotions,” Dr. Sage added.
Because of this, we are wondering if there is a way out of the eggshell parenting cycle. Dr. Sage makes it clear that people who worry about being an eggshell parent are already halfway through the toxic parent cycle. Taking responsibility for your actions and apologizing to your children after a sudden outburst can make all the difference. When parents begin to discipline themselves, children stop overanalyzing situations and may grow up to be more socially and emotionally healthy as adults.
