“Parents are deeply involved in their adult children's lives, and there's nothing wrong with that,” declared the front page of the New York Times. Added subheading. “New research shows that today's intensive parenting has benefits as well as risks, and most young people seem to be happy with it, too.”
TRUE? Is “intensive parenting” best and do children still prefer it as adults?
Well, it depends on what you consider “intensive”.
This article discusses a recent Pew study that looked at a fairly broad group of young people, defined by their definition as young people between the ages of 18 and 34; Even hard-core working people are said to be the ones who Google search for “gum pain.'' Separately, we conducted a survey of parents of people of that age group (who no doubt have a problem with Google gum), and “I can't sleep,'' and “I don't like bread.'' What tastes like something but doesn't?” etc.)
One of Dr. Pugh's key findings was that “parents are deeply involved in the lives of their adult children.” This was determined by the fact that 73% of parents said they text their children “at least several times a week.”
If it's very relevant, I'm very involved with my sister, friends, and WhatsApp groups where we discuss politics (even if it drives me crazy!). But I can't say I'm intensively growing any of them. Sending text messages is so easy and quick that texting your family “at least a few times a week” is much more “normal communication” than “intensive parenting.” I think so.
As for the fact that young people “at least sometimes look to their parents for advice about work, finances, and physical health,” wouldn't it be strange if their parents didn't? And a little sad? (and what about them Assumption How to find a good periodontist?)
I'm on record as having encouraged young children to explore on their own. without it Communication device. That way, if you get lost or your bike chain comes off, you'll have to think about what to do next. They can't just call their parents. I want them to develop problem-solving skills and independence. Early childhood is the time to do that.
And if they're lucky (and there's a factor, actually), by the time they're young, they'll be resourceful and capable. However, it is ton Availability or ability of resources all. So they rely on us, not because we're helicopters, but because we're willing to help.
Not all problems in young adulthood require bootstrapping.
Ah, but the survey also found that many parents financially support their adult children. This tendency is stronger when children are between 18 and 24 years old, and becomes less so as they get older. Is it intensive parenting? Excessive aid? Does kindness make you feel uncomfortable?
As the folks at Pew also point out, young people are attending college in record numbers and taking on record college debt. The truth is, we don't know if university is the best career path for everyone, but it remains popular at the moment. Therefore, I do not believe that helping young people build an economic foundation is a destructive “enabler.” Maybe it's because I've done it myself!
I think some people think that providing assistance after a certain age is lenient. But I think it's time to turn that around. how?
Let them be independent as children. Let them play, explore, and take small risks without constant adult supervision. They will realize that you believe in them. It helps them believe in themselves. He will be there for you without being overprotective. I know there are a lot of blurred lines, but basically I'm talking about trust.
You believe your child is capable of some things.
They trust you to be there for them when they themselves cannot.
It's the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Or, as my husband says, “At some point, it stops being all about parenthood. It's just family.”
That would make for a boring New York Times headline. But it's true.
Lenore Skenazy is the president of Let Grow, a contributor to Reason.com, and the author of “Has the World Gone Skenazy?” To learn more about Lenore Skenazy ([email protected]) and to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate web page at www.creators.com.
Photo credit: Osarugu Igbinova on Unsplash
