Here are five ways parents can set their children up for future success, according to psychologists and other parenting experts.
“Confidence” and “self-esteem” are sometimes used interchangeably. But when it comes to raising kids successfully, one is more important than the other, educational psychologist Michele Borba wrote for CNBC Make It in 2022.
Self-esteem refers to how we view ourselves overall. Confidence reflects how confident you are in your abilities in a particular situation. Although the two concepts are related, research shows that self-confidence is a better indicator of future success. This is because confidence helps children solidify their belief that their skills and efforts will lead to great outcomes, such as getting good grades or doing well in track and field.
“True confidence comes from doing well, facing obstacles, creating solutions, and picking yourself up,” Borba wrote.
The best way for parents to increase their child's self-confidence is to step back and allow their child to succeed and fail on their own, rather than sitting back and trying to solve their child's problems. Borba points out. That way, if you fail, you will learn to dust yourself off and try again, and believe that you will succeed in the end.
Research shows that self-control helps determine future success. Decades of research by researchers at the University of Otago in New Zealand has shown that when children learn to ignore unnecessary distractions and control their emotions and behavior, they typically become smarter and more intelligent. He is said to grow with ambition.
“Learning to avoid distractions is the most important skill of the 21st century,” author and psychology expert Nir Eyal told Make It magazine in 2019. These are skills that parents don't teach their children.”
Eyal recommends starting early. Young children can begin to understand the concept of time. This means parents can start explaining the importance of budgeting their time to focus on important developmental activities. Children can also learn self-control through play, including games like freeze tag and “red light, green light.”
Child psychologist Dr. Tovah Klein wrote in Make It magazine last year that the ability to be self-motivated is one of two important traits that help children develop into successful adults. he said. (The other thing? Confidence.)
Establish expectations for your children by consulting their opinions when it comes to daily activities like getting ready for school, choosing after-school activities, and doing chores, says best-selling author and parenting expert. Recommended by Esther Wojcicki.
“The more you trust your children to do things for themselves, the more empowered they will be,” Wojcicki wrote in a 2022 Make It article.
Eyal also suggested using tactics such as entering into “effort pacts” with children. That means children commit to certain limits on distracting temptations, such as limiting screen time to one hour a day.
Wojcicki raised three successful children, a doctor and two prominent CEOs, but she never demanded perfection from her children. That made a big difference, she noted.
She advised giving children space to fail, treating failures and setbacks with empathy rather than contempt, and helping them maintain confidence while learning to see failure as a learning opportunity.
“Mastery means doing something as many times as necessary to get it right. What I wanted to reward was learning and effort, not getting it right the first time.” she wrote.
Research shows that perfectionism does not make children more likely to succeed in the future and can lead to mental health problems such as anxiety and low self-esteem.
Allison Butler, a psychology professor at Bryant University, rethinks the way we think about making mistakes by openly discussing the mistakes she made, how she solved the problem, and what she learned in the process. Allison Butler, a psychology professor at Bryant University, told Make It in January.
It's never too early to teach your children about money. How to make money, how to spend it wisely, and how to save while planning for the future. A 2023 study by the National Council of Financial Educators found that most U.S. students don't learn these lessons in school, which can cost them money as adults.
Parenting expert Margot McCall Bisnow interviews 70 extraordinary adult parents for her 2022 book, Raising Entrepreneurs: How to Help Your Children Achieve Their Dreams did. She found that teaching financial literacy was a common theme for these parents.
“The parents I spoke to never forced their children to pursue high-paying careers, but they all made an effort to teach their children about money in some way. ” Bisnow wrote in Make It magazine in 2022. She noted that they receive allowances and claim they save the money themselves to spend on items they want but don't necessarily need, such as new roller skates.
Alexa von Tobel, a Harvard-trained investor and founder of online financial advisory LearnVest, teaches kids about money in realistic, “factual” ways, such as discussing the prices of everyday items. He says you can try talking to him.
Teach your kids that money is just a “tool to help you live the life you want,” Von Tobel told Make It last month. “Money is not something to be worshiped. And it is not something to be ignored.”
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