If you've read the news recently, you've probably heard that Americans might be in the midst of a sexual recession. But at least one person's demographic has the best sex of their life: Gen X Women. At least that's Mireille Silkoff, a debate writer created with her latest work in the New York Times magazine.
In it, she explores her middle-aged sexual awakening. “I was trying to explain the moments I really met everywhere,” she told Vox. Between her own life, her friends' experiences, and the portrayal of pop culture that has emerged everywhere, she felt that trends had emerged. “It seems there's something new in the air that has something to do with the 50-year-old woman, their bodies, their gender, their relationship.”
So, what's in the air now? And what is behind these later sexual revelations? We spoke with Silfcoff to find out exactly what's going on here in this week's episode. Please explain it to me, Vox's weekly call-in show. Below is an excerpt from the conversation edited for length and clarity. You can hear Please explain it to me Get your podcasts on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere. If you would like to submit a question, please email [email protected] or call 1-800-618-8545.
What inspired you to write about this in the first place?
After a very long relationship of 21 years, I was split from scratch in my late 40s. When I came out of it, I thought that what lies before me would become quite a spinning entity. I was really, really sick during an adult, and my marriage was very long and had two children. “Well, who wants this bag of issues? I'm 50 now.” Life will be orange pecoetie, Masterpiece theater, I hope to take care of my child and play my writing hopefully, that's it. And what happened instead was that I had many great new relationships with many great men and the kind of sex I didn't even think I had in my 20s. It was revelation.
And at first, I found this to be my weird and cool story. But then when I started out of culture, some of my other friends got divorced and had similar circumstances to mine.
What do you think is the factor in this sexual activation of lifespan?
Middle-aged women today are mostly Gen X. You are also beginning to acquire middle-aged millennials. And the Gen X women had a very interesting formative experience when it comes to sex in the 90s. Divorces are also happening more than ever.
Women's divorce and sexual exploration are very old stories. You get divorced and suddenly find yourself sexually in small parts. I think that's also a big part of the story. Therefore, women had a bit of this sexual rediscovery and discovered that their sexual function was still there when they were still there at the age of 47 or 55.
That's why Gen X women are more comfortable in their own bodies. They may be more interested in understanding such things and things like that. Why do you think this is especially happening in Gen X Women? Why is this generation so different from Boomers?
Boomers were bound by many social norms in the very medium period because there was no better way. There was an open attitude towards sex, and free love was the boomer's structure. But what happened with all of that was that all of these ideas were when women were working suddenly when they really roost in the late '80s and early '90s, and when men were still bosses, it created a tough situation for people who inherited a very open sexual culture.
I consider X X to be a generation of women who are really thrust into a very sexual landscape and need to dodge themselves. There was not much support for how to navigate sexually predatory bosses. There wasn't much roadmap about how to have sex or how to become a sexual person. For example, because many women did not experience orgasm, it was because they could not understand how they could not understand, and how their male partners couldn't understand, and because they didn't experience orgasm because it didn't happen. I feel that won't happen now. There's something like OMG. This is a website where you can find ways to have a female orgasm. Now we are a much more open environment to learn about sex. However, there are a few cliffs that have happened at the same time among the younger generations with sexual frequency.
I'd like to talk a little about that. There's been so many conversations for now about how young people are reducing sex. There appears to be a backlash against sexual positivity. Do you think millennials and Z women take these sexual freedoms for granted?
You take it for granted, just as you should. Parents create situations and young people take it for granted.
I think culture basically conspires in every way to intimacy, having open and easy sexuality, and relationships. I don't think it's really a coincidence that sexual decline began to occur the same year that the iPhone was introduced. It was the same year that social media really went on.
“This culture has basically conspired with intimacy, having open and easy sexuality, relationships, in every way you can imagine it against intimacy.”
There are fewer people going out and hanging out. They don't do things much in strange spaces where things can become strange. There was a more natural oddity back then. And natural oddity can lead to intimate moments that can lead to sex. I now feel that there is some degree of experience cleanliness in a culture that is so afraid that people will mix up in those old ways. It had a big impact on your ability to hook up, have casual sex, and move from one boyfriend to another until you find something you like. In some respects, I think it's great for middle-aged people who already have that socialization.
Do you want middle-aged women to move forward? Especially when it comes to sex, desires, and relationships?
Now is the time for them to grab the moment and make sure we live in an age where many factors are gathered in the perfect storm, creating truly interesting, wonderful, wonderful, and fun possibilities for women to be sexually sexual at the age of 50. What I want to see is a woman who can indulge in this moment, whether she is married or not. If you're not married, go out and be sure there are people who want you and there are people who are interested in you. And for women who have not had sex, or for women who are unable to lead a very active sex life at age 50, they will still be immersed in the glory of the fact that all of humanity, first timers, have become important.
